My Thoughts

​M.S. UNPREDICTABLE DHONI 

Just Imagine the word ‘UNPREDICTABLE’ instead of ‘Untold’ in his biopic ‘M.S.Dhoni : The Untold Story’. If any word describes him rightly , its the word ‘UNPREDICTABLE’. There is a reason why many didn’t like the movie. Maybe there was nothing ‘Untold’ in it. But,was that the makers mistake that we fans knew each and everything about him and our only job other than watching him play was to know about him. Did we kill Youtube too much with this Dhoni Drug ?  Are we loving this guy too much ?

There is a sense of protection we feel when we are with our loved ones no matter how badly hurt we are , Dhoni is like that to us. No matter what until he is there , we are safe(that kinda feel). Like you know you are protected when 9 wickets are down and still 20 more runs are required but still the opposition is the one who is under pressure because there is this guy adjusting his glove and doing his signature ‘shirt’ gesture before every ball is bowled. He even wins you the match and everyone are celebrating the hell out but this guy leaves the field with absolutely no emotions. Is he real ? Are we being over protected by him ? 

I dont know whether he is real but yeah we were over protected by him. As I said , he was always ‘UNPREDICTABLE’. He was so Unpredictable that he announced his test retirement in australia with still a test to go in the already dead series. Maybe he would have received a well deserved farewell had he retired like how others did but all he thought was ‘it will be an opportunity for someone like wriddhiman saha’. Why did he give us so many hard pills to swallow , because he was UNPREDICTABLE…Or maybe he was just a SLAVE TO HIS OWN MIND…

You would have got used to this unpredictable nature of his if you were a die hard fan of him like me. But no matter how much prepared you are , it will still hurt  because you are only Dhoni fan and not Dhoni. No matter how many times we convince ourselves not to think about it , we all know its  final few years for him in the team and its only going to hurt more than before and the only thing we will have are those nostalgic memories right from his long hair dont care days to his days with the Indian army to act as a medicine.

Finally , what if sreesanth dropped that catch in 2007 t20 WC ? what if joginder sharma got hit badly and pakistan won the match with 3 more balls to spare ? What if MSD got out Lbw to muttiah muralidaran in the 2011 wc finals ? What if yuvraj came in asusual instead of M.S.D ? There are so many ‘What if’s’ right ? Thats MSD , as always UNPREDICTABLE. By the way , all these things didn’t happen just because he was lucky but because he is Mahendra Singh Dhoni.  Happy birthday Thala :*

My memories

Finally…

I got admission in mechanical engineering at one of the best educational institutions in my city , The SRM University (thanks to my average mark and my dad’s hard earned money). It was the first day of my college life and my daddy dropped me in college (that’s what I call him even though I so badly want to call him ‘Appa‘). He gave me 200 rupees since it was my first day and left with a smile as he always does.

 
I went in and my name was in mechanical ‘B’ section. I went to the class and sat in the last bench as I always do. First two hours were awkward but after that every thing cleared up with some ‘Hi’ and ‘What’s ur name’ and by evening we were talking about all kinds of stuffs. A week went like this and by the time I thought iam getting friends , there came a attendar man telling that my name is not registered in this class list and I have to go to the next class ‘The Mech – C‘. Getting up from there and going to the next class was the hardest thing for me to do at that time eventhough I have done much more hard things after that. I went into the next class and all I could see was the 50 -55 guys staring at me (actually looking). Days passed and all I did was come to ‘Mech – B’ during breaks and never talk to the always staring mean guys in ‘Mech – C’. 

But I never knew that the constantly staring mean guys would end up meaning so much to me. I dont know how we started talking , I dont know how we became close because I was not ready to get close and go sit in the next class again, but everything happened to my suprise. After 4 months , we were not friends but brothers. I had so many first time things with them. The first time I went on a roadtrip , The first time I drank beer , The first time I got a hindi best friend , The first time I celebrated holi , The first time I felt content. DAMN , there were so many first times.

Another best friend of mine was my bench. The last bench were I sat with the trademark ‘135‘ written with whitener on it (my roll no.). She was special.

But as they say , every good thing must come to an end and it actually came to an end. It was the first day of second year and I was sitting in my favourite bench and there came an attendar man again (Damn , they are evil for sure). He called 10 names to go see the H.O.D and my name was there too. We went and all he said was you have less credits and you have to study first year again or discontinue the course. As we thought he was joking he made sure it was real by calling the parents and my dad came in an hour , the last time he came to college was during my first day. He shouted at them for not informing these before , he supported me asusual but it was of no use. As I began to realise everything happening around was real , I checked the sheet and I was the only guy with 19 credits (20 were needed).
My dad told me not to worry about this since it was not my fault  (that’s how he is). I went to class along with my 9 friends and sat there but attendance was not taken for us and you know what ? I never went to that class again. After few days, our ID’s were taken from us and we were not allowed in class. Every one from that class gave us a emotional send off in the canteen and promised to stay in touch. It happened at a speed where I was unable to react and it took few days to accept it as it was. I dint even say a proper goodbye to my favourite bench , she never knew that I would not be coming from tomorrow.


People always tell me , ‘You should have studied’ , ‘It was your fault’ , ‘Did you think about your parents’ and so on but the only answer I have is ‘I dont know’. I dint know about changing sections , credit points , discontinuing the course or anything. Even now , I DONT KNOW. I dont know whether this blog is even good or not .The only thing I know is one moment can change everything and one point can change everything.
After all this , its been 3 years and it would be good to say I have moved on in my life and i’ve seen much more good , bad , worse things but that one year will always be special to me. The reason I wrote this is because it was the farewell for Mech – C yesterday and my friend was kind enough to tag me in this picthe farewell which I wanted for all these years 🙂

                    

My Thoughts

Hymn for a life time…

It was this same day last year. The 14th of february , yup the valentines day. The roses in the flower shops were little too proud that day as those little bastards decided the fate for many and the early morning couples entering the beach holding hands constantly raised the temper of the regular single joggers. Love traffic was too much that day. The whole morning was filled with love all over but I couldn’t see all that because I woke up only at noon , that too after my mother’s master technique of switching off the fan. As I began to explain her that it was a sunday, she explained to me that iam taking everyday as a sunday. I could have talked back but i didnt because I felt she was ready with more points and so I felt it was time to accept my defeat.

 After some time , I logged on to facebook only to know that it was valentines day and people have already started posting with #bae hashtags from midnight and it made me instantly sad but thanks to some anti valentines day memes from my fellow single army. I wanted to check about the valentines day ‘culture’ so i decided to google it. Read the word ‘culture’ again. As I began to read all the posts suddenly a completely contrast one to the topic showed up. It read ‘Coldplay misrepresents indian culture’. I went in leaving my lazy mind to read it and came to know that it was about a song called ‘Hymn for the weekend’ and I directly youtubed it. As I started to listen to it , I didn’t know that this song is going to mean so much to me. I instantly liked it and disliked all the comments against culture and other stupid things. I felt it was just a song and it was great.

Days passed and I just began to realise that I was way too much addicted to it , like I have never been addicted this much to a song. There were days where all I did was just listen to the song again and again and I even felt that it was time to stop this habit and move on to the next happening song but it never leaved me. To talk like a F.R.I.E.N.D.S fan I was addicted to that song like how ross was addicted to marriages , how joey was addicted to food and how chandler was addicted to sarcasm and ofcourse to monica too. I even began to think like why iam this much addicted to a song. Like, is it the lyrics or is it the music or is it the video or is it just because it was coldplay but I have never come out with results. Its just that there’s a song for everyone and this song is for me. I even learnt to play it finally after some constant notes stealing activities.

The other thing I personally like about this song is the circumstances I was in when I  heard it. I was high with my friends and this song made perfect sense , I was at my lowest best in life and still it made perfect sense , I was lonely and it made sense  and I was riding my bike pretending to be in a music video and it still made sense. I wonder often like who has even listened to this song more than me so that I will be given a grammy if there ever was for listening to a song this many times or maybe I could end up writing it in my professional skills area on my resume.

The only reason I wrote this blog was because today I just freaked out when my music was in shuffle mode and this song played up , like why this song. Another reason is I haven’t written anything for a long time 😉 I can end it by saying happy valentines day but since its my first blog for the year , Happy new year 2017 *Internet explorer mode on*

*Year 2030*

Me- the way chris martin sings is just

People – Stop it you boring idiot

My memories

Dear Daddy

          This post and the love i have for you are both the same , il never express it as i wanted to. 
        i dont know how to start this , i dont know what all to write , i remember everything like it happened yesterday…the small house we lived in , the bike rides after school with you, the way i used to hug you tight and sleep everynight , the first time you beat me…i remember everything, i even remember how you were for the next few days after beating me and it freaks me out that you have not beaten me once after that, i have had all the best times of my childhood with you but as i grew older , we became more formal and words exchanged between us were comparatively less. i became more of a mummy’s boy which is actually common, may be this little distance occurs because of the respect, i dont know. But i dont care about that little distance because i know you will always be there for me. you have gone through so much because of me , i have let you down many times but you never gave up on me , you didnt even when i myself gave up on me.  i know how much you love me and how much you suffer when something bad happens to me.i know the days where you used to sit near me and touch me without waking me up, daddy i was not even sleeping that day. i know no one can love me like how you do and you have no idea how much i love you, maybe we never express our love towards eachother because its too deep to even express. i may tell or act like iam mummy’s boy but you are first to me, even mummy comes only second. i will never express or show you but you are my most favourite person in this world. One day i will make you proud…
Happy Birthday Daddy 🙂

Love you 

My Thoughts

​WEAK is the new STRONG

You may be wondering , wow ! What a great positive way to start a first blog post after reading the word ‘WEAK’ but you got to believe me that this is the best way i could have ever started. May be the word ‘weak’ is very ‘weak’ when read alone but it pretends as if its not that much ‘weak’ when it joins with strong. Yes because to be strong , first you have to be weak. its just like to be old and wise , you must first be young and stupid.
They call you weak? Cry baby? They depict themselves as strong people? Laugh at you? Believe me they are not stronger than you. Like they fell from the third step of a floor, got up and shouted iam strong but what about you? You fell from the first floor, twisted your knee , got up and went to write your arrear exam after which your girl friend/boy friend called you saying they cant tolerate you anymore and they are breaking up with you. You begged them enough to stay, all they did was cut the call. Just when you think you had enough you return home and all you saw was your mother who was suffering from a minor fever. You prayed to God for her quick recovery and the funny thing is you are an atheist. And finally you broke out , you cried alone for everything that happened to you. But the question is , whether you are strong or the one who fell from the third step and called you weak is strong? . You may be weak but iam asking you who is actually strong ?
Ok now lets play this ‘have you ever’ game. its simple , all you need to do is answer yourself with a yes or a no.

Have you ever felt pain in your heart while thinking about something that you even thought you’ll not survive the remaining night ? Have you ever been so numb and dumb that you even heard a crazy fun edm mix like say one from diplo with a full sad face? Have you ever lost a loved one? Have you ever settled for less? I mean settling for less is wrong but iam just asking , like it could be anything , your career?, dreams? or even say a coffee, like you wanted to have one at starbucks but you settled for the one from a roadside shop just because you couldn’t afford it. And finally have you ever accepted things just because you had no other option?

I dont know if you said a yes or a no to yourself , i even dont know if you felt weak if it was an ‘yes’ but did you even realise how strong you are without even you knowing it , like you survived everything you thought you wouldn’t , i mean till now you are breathing right ? And for the ones who call you weak , they are not strong nor they are weak , they are neither. They are the ones who had not got hit by life till now because a weak knows what its like to be worthless and a strong knows how it feels like to be  weak.

Finally , do you even know why we keep moving forward even if we dont want to ? Why we start to accept things even if we dint want to? Its because of two words…            

               HOPE and CHANGE

A little ‘Hope’ that everything will ‘Change’ and you know what? You keep pushing , thats what 🙂